Interview with Jack Diesel

Posted: April 29, 2013 by FEMA help in FEMA

Q:Where are you from?
A: North Smithfield, Rhode Island

Q:What did you do before the apocalypse?
A:I was a well known slumlord in the neighboring city of Woonsocket. To keep from looking like a complete piece of shit with city officials and inspectors, I maintained a small print shop with my mother. Family business always looks good!

Q:Can you tell me about the first zombie you ran into?
A:The first zombie I ran into was at one of my “sleezier” apts in a “sleezy” part of the city. I kept getting calls of complaints from other tenants, then neighbors and after having avoided doing anything about it for a couple Weeks, I decided to take a run over to see what was up. They were right, it stunk…headed up to the apt and after several knocks with no answer, I decided to let myself in. There he was. One of my sleezy tenants all dead and zombified. Shoulda known. Real scumbag. Always late with rent if he actually had it. Needless to say, I took a baseball bat to his head. Boy did that feel great!! I couldn’t freakin stand this idiot!!

Q:How did you survive in the early stages?
A:Luckily for myself and some buddies, we had formed a sort of alliance. Just a group of guys willing to get together if ever the shit actually hit the fan. Never really thought it would, but it did. Needless to say, we had already been putting things aside for a rainy day like this. Food, water, supplies and whatever else sounded like a good idea. We headed to our secret location and have been doing just fine. We ventured out when we had to restock on certain supplies or to simply go out pillaging when we were bored.

Q:What kind of background/skills do you bring?
A:I’m kind of a “jack” of all trades. Being a slumlord and prior property manager, I taught myself basic carpentry and electrical work and a little more in the plumbing dept. I also have my fair share of mechanic skills have worked on all my own cars/trucks since I started driving.

Q:How did you hear about FEMA?
A:Me and the boys were out for a Sunday stroll, off to score more heating oil for the trucks when we came upon a woman and her dog. She looked tired and beat up, almost like she’d been through an f’n apocolypse! Wait a minute…..she had……she said her name was Tamara and her dog was Killian. We took her back to camp where she could get a hot shower and some food in her and her straggly looking dog. Poor lil fella.

She told us she’d been traveling for who knows how long. She left her old shelter in search of a better place, where she would fit in better. She told us of this place down in Texas, FEMA. She’d heard this was the place to be. After hanging around for about a week regaining her strength, we loaded up the trucks and headed south to what would be our new home.

Q:What other safe-houses have you been a part of?
A:I’ve not been a part of any other groups, only FEMA and my own small group in the beginning

Q: What do you miss most from the pre zombie apocalypse?
A:There’s not much I miss preapocolypse. Life was getting kinda dull. Same thing day and day out. The apocolypse has really made things quite exciting! One thing I do miss is some sleezy, greasy fast food…wouldn’t mind me some McDoubles or a nice Big Mac with some chicken nuggets, fries and a tasty coke!! Yes sir!!

Editor’s Note: The interviews have been a lot of fun, but I have run out of volunteers who are willing to be interviewed. If you are wanting/willing to be interviewed, please contact me on palringo or whisper me on psc. Name is Brian S on both.


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