Interview with Paleobabe

Posted: April 22, 2013 by FEMA help in FEMA

Q:Where are you from?
A: I’m a Texan Canadian

Q:What did you do before the apocalypse?
A:I was a radiology tech in a hospital

Q:Can you tell me about the first zombie you ran into?
A:My first zombie was this patient who came in for emergency surgery. She wasn’t looking to good and reminded me of that scene from Dawn of the Dead. Boy was I surprised when she turned into a real life zombie. Thankfully her emergency surgery was for shattered legs so we cut her head off with the saw we use for amputations and called it a day.

Q:How did you survive in the early stages?
A:Having War around really helped. Then there was always my trusty hammer.

Q:What kind of background/skills do you bring?
A:I have a little bit of medical knowledge and I can think creatively under pressure. I am not afraid of a little blood and guts.

Q:How did you hear about FEMA?
A:We went north along the highway and heard of the underground bunker in Denton. Thankfully Furie let us in the gates.

Q:What other safe-houses have you been a part of?
A:I am a Fema lifer but my second home is 420 alert. I like to visit for a nice calm oasis. They’re good peeps.

Q: What do you miss most from the pre zombie apocalypse?
A:I really would love some brie. Maybe a little Project Runway too.

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Interview with Boogie Man

Posted: April 15, 2013 by FEMA help in FEMA

Q:Where are you from?
The Hateway to the West, St. Louis!

Q:What did you do before the apocalypse?
I led a boring life before the world went to hell. Worked a basic labor job for decent pay so I could afford to feed myself. Went to the bars with the guys on weekends. Watched sports. Only real activity away from city life was shooting and hunting. Guess that paid off.

Q:Can you tell me about the first zombie you ran into?
Oh, you mean Donnie? Yeah. That was a shock. Not. Guy looked like a zombie before he was one. So, I was running late for work one morning. Didn’t check my phone, watch the news, or anything like that. Roads were surprisingly clear for morning rush hour, but I took that as a godsend to help me get to work. When I got to the foundry there were hardly any cars outside which was weird because nobody misses payday. I stepped inside and it was quiet. No grinders buzzing, no hammers slamming, none of the typical noise. I went back into the pouring room and saw Donnie hunched over a table like he normally was with his bad back. I called his name and asked where everyone was. He turned around faster than I would expect him to… huge gaping hole in his shoulder and his arm was dangling there like a limp noodle. I’d seen enough movies to know what was up. I went searching for something to take care of it. All that was back there was a 50 pound maul. Good enough. I put my power into it and slammed his head so hard it made a splat that Gallagher would be proud of. Poor Donnie. He was a good feller.

Q:How did you survive in the early stages?
Being raised the way I was, and having the dad I do, I learned at a young age how to survive different situations. The woods are a second home. I had my hunting rifle and a few other guns in the cabinet at home, so I just packed up my survival gear, grabbed my dog, and got away as far as I could. Couldn’t raise anyone on the phone, so I figured my friends were gone. A lot easier to get around unseen by myself anyway.

Q:What kind of background/skills do you bring?
Well I already talked about how I was a hunter, so there is that. I played a lot of sports throughout my life: football, rugby, wrestling, mma. Tried hockey, can’t skate. I always enjoyed being physically dominate. Be bigger, be stronger, run longer.

Q:How did you hear about FEMA?
From my friend Ally. I was roaming the woods after getting into another argument at the White House over something stupid probably. All of a sudden I picked up a signal on my portable long wave of a girl calling for help. I went to the location and cleared out some sleepers, found Ally holed up in a fashion shop. After a short rest, she told me where she was from and where she was going. Just tagged along.

Q:What other safe-houses have you been a part of?
Well, I tried to start up The Madhouse in the beginning. That went nowhere. Then I spent some time in a small Virginia Raceway house. After that I collaborated with a few members of The Satellite and we formed Irish Rover. That lasted a couple months before we merged with The White House. Now here I am.

Q: What do you miss most from the pre zombie apocalypse?
Miss most? Hmmm. That’s tough. If I had to pick a single thing, it would have to be Cardinals baseball. Nothing says luxury like going to a game plastered drunk and cheering on your favorite team.

Interview with thisiscjhess

Posted: April 8, 2013 by FEMA help in FEMA

Q:Where are you from?
From: Killeen, the armpit of Texas

Q:What did you do before the apocalypse?
Before the apocalypse I really only played a bunch of video games. Not much has changed

Q:Can you tell me about the first zombie you ran into?
The first walker I ran into was my old calculus teacher from high school. He was really scary too, cause he was holding onto his calculator still. And his eyeball was hanging from the socket. Gross.

Q:How did you survive in the early stages?
I survived at first by building a treehouse. Of horrors. It was horrific, for the walkers.

Q:What kind of background/skills do you bring?
Skills? I have a few. I’ve been practicing on my force sensitivity. With it, I can see a zombie walking towards me from a distance of up to 100 yards away. During the day. I’m no Skywalker, but I’d make the Jedi proud.

Q:How did you hear about FEMA?
I went to school in Denton and remembered seeing the FEMA building. A few months after the outbreak I hopped into my Lil Chiquita and rode on up. It took forever but when I arrived everyone was so great. Until Janet inked me. I knew I belonged then.

Q:What other safe-houses have you been a part of?
FEMA is my first actual SH. I’ve visited a few, but once I joined I knew I was home

Q: What do you miss most from the pre zombie apocalypse?
What do I miss most? Either skittles or Internet porn. Oops. I mean Star Wars. I guess the world will never know what happens after episode 6. Too bad Disney can’t come in and save the day

Interview with Sheriff Grimes

Posted: April 1, 2013 by FEMA help in FEMA

Q: Where are you from?

A: Noonan, Georgia

Q: What did you do before the apocalypse?

A: I was the Sheriff of Noonan

Q: Tell me about the first zombie you ran into?

A: I woke up in the Noonan Regional hospital. I had been shot prior to the, outbreak or whatever it’s being called. I was in a coma. I woke up in the hospital to dead silence. No pun intended. It was eerily quiet. I got on my feet, drank as much water as I could find, and looked around. There were bodies everywhere. I wandered to the cafeteria, the doors were loosely chained. The sign read, “Dead Inside. Do Not Enter”. Suddenly, the doors pushed open and grotesque, discolored and mangled arms lurched for me. That’s the first time I encountered the dead.

Q: How did you survive in the early stages?

A: I got back to my house. To look for my wife Lori, and my son Carl. They had evacuated early. My partner, Shane had taken them to Atlanta. I was taken in by a man named Morgan and his son. They explained the outbreak. Told me about the early days. Taught me about the walkers and how they moved and what attracted them. He and his son showed me how to kill them. I took them with me to the Sheriff’s station, to fortify them with guns, ammo, clothes, MRE’s and water. Got a hot shower. That was nice. Then I set out to Atlanta to find my family.

Q: What kind of background/skills do you bring?

A: As a Sheriff I’m trained in small arms. Riot training helps. The herds of walkers move like an Occcupy Rally. I’ve delt with those. Negotiating skills help when dealing with survivors. They are the real problem. I kill the dead, but I fear the living.

Q: How did you hear about FEMA?

A: Early on at my first Safehouse, pinkertonb5 visited us. She was scouting the nearby areas for FEMA. She gave us much needed info and offered FEMA as an ally to Deer Park. We graciously accepted the offer.

Q: What other safe-houses have you been a part of?

A: Like I said. I holed up at an elementary school, Deer Park. I brought some folks along. We hunkered down pretty good. When I left to find Lori and Carl, many of the Deer Parkers headed to FEMA permanently. Laila, Kierst just to name a few.

Interview with The Clapp

Posted: March 25, 2013 by FEMA help in FEMA

Q:Where are you from?
A: Where i come from.. Lets call it “Hells Front Desk”

Q:What did you do before the apocalypse?
A: Whats up with the light in my face?..

Q:Can you tell me about the first zombie you ran into?
A: It was a loose woman named Ethel…

Q:How did you survive in the early stages?
A: Two words.. Bear poop..

Q:What kind of background/skills do you bring?
A:My hands are like Chuck Norris’ tears, they heal.. To bad i dont use them…

Q:How did you hear about FEMA?
A: I was stalking this cute red haired woman.. Pinkerton was her name.. I stumbled through the door and wasnt allowed to leave..

Q:What other safe-houses have you been a part of?
A: I started Dead Hooker Emporium, then i helped build CSP, I then built Sunny Acres before it was brought down by a bad seed..there was Dead Hooker Disposal and Mama Ethels Whorpse Shack and The Ministry of Scientrollogy….. Want me to go on?

Interview with Pinkertonb5

Posted: March 18, 2013 by FEMA help in FEMA

Q:Where are you from?

A:Denton, TX.

Q:What did you do before the apocalypse?

A:HR lady/adjunct professor.

Q:Can you tell me about the first zombie you ran into?

A:All i remember about that first zombie is that Furie made me kill it…with my fists, boots and a kitchen knife.

Q:How did you survive in the early stages?

A:Not sure, probably should have died. I guess I’m lucky.

Q:What kind of background/skills do you bring?

A:I’m pretty good with a compound bow.

Q:How did you hear about FEMA?

A:I live down the road from FEMA.

Q:What other safe-houses have you been a part of?

A:This is my first and only SH. I’m a lifer, though I do enjoy a nice vacation once in a while.

Interview with Frost

Posted: March 11, 2013 by FEMA help in FEMA

Q:Where are you from?
A:I’m from Los Angeles, California. Parents were born in Cuba.

Q:What did you do before the apocalypse?
A: What I did before the apocalypse? I was in the us army (platoon sergeant).

Q:Can you tell me about the first zombie you ran into?
A:First zombie I ran into was by complete surprise. The bastard looked all decomposed and tried to bite me in the face. So I punched him in the face which knocked him back and sliced his head clean off with a kitana sword that was off to my left.

Q:How did you survive in the early stages?
A: I survived the early stages by sticking to my own. Hunker down in places where it was off the ground (cuz they can’t climb) and just move from place to place during the day.

Q:What kind of background/skills do you bring?
A:The skills I bring are trained by us army special forces, expert marksman with assault rifles, sniper rifles and pistols. Expert in hand to hand combat, extensive training stealth and undercover operations. Pathfinder and tracking abilities and kick ass/charming attitude

Q:How did you hear about FEMA?
A:I heard about FEMA cuz a young beautiful woman named ratoncita Perez seduced me over to FEMA (haha.)

Q:What other safe-houses have you been a part of?
A: last safe house I was in was Jade Garden.